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That sparkle in their eyes always brought me back to them, no matter how much hurt they caused me.
Confident, headstrong, courageous, everything I aspired to be. I admired, even envied them.
I spent years ignoring all the signs and telling myself that this person wanted the best for me. It was just tough love, nothing more. I told myself that I’d “grow” and learn from how badly they treated me.
And I did learn three things:
I learned that someone who hurts you is hurt on the inside.
I learned that it isn’t possible to change these people, they will always remain the same, unless change sprouts from within.
I learned that how I am treated by others is up to me.
I struggled to leave because I grew attached to them. This friend had become a part of my identity, who I was as a college student. I didn’t know how to move on or how to break free.
I felt lost and I didn’t know how to become my own person.
They were sweet and kind, as well as difficult and stubborn. We embraced at times and clashed at others, but we cared deeply for each other. Isn’t that what matters?
My friend spent time and money on me, but also criticized me and said I wasn’t doing enough. They laughed…
